2008

“Abstinence makes the hard-on grow stronger.”
— Eleanor Roosevelt

“People who say they sleep like a baby need to grow the f***...”
— Leo Burke

“Partying is such sweet sorrow.”
— William Shakespeare

“A leader is a man who calls shotgun before anyone else is...”
— George Patton

“U C things as they R and ask ‘Y?’ I dream things...”
— George Bernard Shaw

“Two persons cannot long be friends if they cannot play...”
— Jean De La Bruyere

“If you have no money, start flirting.”
— Danish Proverb

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge...”
— Albert Einstein

“You can never get a cup of absinthe large enough or a doobie...”
— C.S. Lewis

“There may be no “i” in team, but you bet your...”
— Michael Jordan

“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out...”
— T.S.Elliot

“Courage is what it takes to stand up with your top off and...”
— Winston Churchill

“Few things are harder to put up with than a hooker with...”
— Mark Twain

“Once you say you’re going to settle for second, the...”
— John F. Kennedy

“Drugs can do great amounts of good - especially for...”
— Princess Diana

“Those who sacrifice butt-pats for high-fives deserve to play...”
— Ben Franklin

“Those who sleep with dogs provide video entertainment to...”
— Proverb

“A winner is someone who recognizes his God-given talents,...”
— Larry Bird

“Let’s get lost tonight. You can be my black Kate Moss...”
— The Beatles

“E.T. phone gnome.”
— E.T.

“The only thing we have to hear is hear itself. What?”
— Franklin D. Roosevelt

“Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent...”
— Thomas Alva Edison

“Tell ‘em to go out there with all they got and win one...”
— Knute Rockne

“Man who fart silent never ‘break’ wind.”
— Confucius

“Peace cannot be achieved through violence. I’ll fight...”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

“I get bi- with a little help from my friends.”
— John Lennon

“We don’t make mistakes, just happy little accidents...”
— Bob Ross

“I hit women; I hit them. I said; it’s true. And if you...”
— Dr. Seuss

“The trees that are slow to grow usually get beat up for...”
— Moliere

“The struggle for world domination is between me and the...”
— Adolph Hitler

“The secret of getting ahead is getting ahooker.”
— Fortune cookie

“Courage is the art of carrying an uzi and not being afraid...”
— Harold Wilson

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that...”
— Thomas Alva Edison

“Truly wonderful, the body of a child is.”
— Jedi Master Yoda

“The road of excess leads to the palace of fatties.”
— William Blake

“You must have one hell of a vagina to give birth to a...”
— Friedrich Nietzsche

“Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy,...”
— Benjamin Franklin

“Creativity comes from a hard-on and some desperation.”
— Henry Matisse

“You educate a man; you educate a man. You educate a...”
— Brigham Young

“Peaceful one night stands begin with a smile.”
— Mother Teresa

“Each morning when I awake, I experience again a supreme...”
— Salvador Dali

“It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, but holy...”
— Mark Twain

“I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than OW!! Son...”
— Helen Keller

“He that falls in love with himself will have a preeeety hard...”
— Benjamin Franklin (via...

“Women are like teabags. I’m not sure where I was...”
— Eleanor Roosevelt

“You can never be oversexed or overatmyplacetoolate. You...”
— Oscar Wilde

“If music be the food of love, someone bringth me one of...”
— William Shakespeare

“If a man empties his purse into his head, he’s still a...”
— Benjamin Franklin

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about...”
— Robert Frost

“Employ thy oil well, if thou meanest to get sun tan.”
— Benjamin Franklin

“Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and over and...”
— Albert Einstein