2008

Aug

“Abstinence makes the hard-on grow stronger.”
— Eleanor Roosevelt
Aug 20th
“People who say they sleep like a baby need to grow the f***...”
— Leo Burke
Aug 19th
“Partying is such sweet sorrow.”
— William Shakespeare
Aug 18th
“A leader is a man who calls shotgun before anyone else is...”
— George Patton
Aug 16th
“U C things as they R and ask ‘Y?’ I dream things...”
— George Bernard Shaw
Aug 13th
“Two persons cannot long be friends if they cannot play...”
— Jean De La Bruyere
Aug 8th
“If you have no money, start flirting.”
— Danish Proverb
Aug 6th
“Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge...”
— Albert Einstein
Aug 5th
“You can never get a cup of absinthe large enough or a doobie...”
— C.S. Lewis
Aug 2nd
“There may be no “i” in team, but you bet your...”
— Michael Jordan
Aug 1st

Jul

“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out...”
— T.S.Elliot
Jul 29th
“Courage is what it takes to stand up with your top off and...”
— Winston Churchill
Jul 28th
“Few things are harder to put up with than a hooker with...”
— Mark Twain
Jul 25th
“Once you say you’re going to settle for second, the...”
— John F. Kennedy
Jul 22nd
“Drugs can do great amounts of good - especially for...”
— Princess Diana
Jul 11th
“Those who sacrifice butt-pats for high-fives deserve to play...”
— Ben Franklin
Jul 10th
“Those who sleep with dogs provide video entertainment to...”
— Proverb
Jul 3rd
“A winner is someone who recognizes his God-given talents,...”
— Larry Bird
Jul 3rd

Jun

“Let’s get lost tonight. You can be my black Kate Moss...”
— The Beatles
Jun 30th
“E.T. phone gnome.”
— E.T.
Jun 26th
“The only thing we have to hear is hear itself. What?”
— Franklin D. Roosevelt
Jun 25th
“Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent...”
— Thomas Alva Edison
Jun 23rd
“Tell ‘em to go out there with all they got and win one...”
— Knute Rockne
Jun 21st
“Man who fart silent never ‘break’ wind.”
— Confucius
Jun 19th
“Peace cannot be achieved through violence. I’ll fight...”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
Jun 18th
“I get bi- with a little help from my friends.”
— John Lennon
Jun 16th
“We don’t make mistakes, just happy little accidents...”
— Bob Ross
Jun 12th
“I hit women; I hit them. I said; it’s true. And if you...”
— Dr. Seuss
Jun 11th
“The trees that are slow to grow usually get beat up for...”
— Moliere
Jun 9th
“The struggle for world domination is between me and the...”
— Adolph Hitler
Jun 7th
“The secret of getting ahead is getting ahooker.”
— Fortune cookie
Jun 6th
“Courage is the art of carrying an uzi and not being afraid...”
— Harold Wilson
Jun 5th
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that...”
— Thomas Alva Edison
Jun 2nd

May

“Truly wonderful, the body of a child is.”
— Jedi Master Yoda
May 31st
“The road of excess leads to the palace of fatties.”
— William Blake
May 29th
“You must have one hell of a vagina to give birth to a...”
— Friedrich Nietzsche
May 28th
“Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy,...”
— Benjamin Franklin
May 27th
“Creativity comes from a hard-on and some desperation.”
— Henry Matisse
May 26th
“You educate a man; you educate a man. You educate a...”
— Brigham Young
May 24th
“Peaceful one night stands begin with a smile.”
— Mother Teresa
May 23rd
“Each morning when I awake, I experience again a supreme...”
— Salvador Dali
May 22nd
“It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, but holy...”
— Mark Twain
May 21st
“I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than OW!! Son...”
— Helen Keller
May 20th
“He that falls in love with himself will have a preeeety hard...”
— Benjamin Franklin (via...
May 19th
“Women are like teabags. I’m not sure where I was...”
— Eleanor Roosevelt
May 18th
“You can never be oversexed or overatmyplacetoolate. You...”
— Oscar Wilde
May 17th
“If music be the food of love, someone bringth me one of...”
— William Shakespeare
May 16th
“If a man empties his purse into his head, he’s still a...”
— Benjamin Franklin
May 15th
“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about...”
— Robert Frost
May 14th
“Employ thy oil well, if thou meanest to get sun tan.”
— Benjamin Franklin
May 13th
“Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and over and...”
— Albert Einstein
May 12th