Misquotes

"Abstinence makes the hard-on grow stronger."

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 08:47:00 -0500

“Abstinence makes the hard-on grow stronger.”

- Eleanor Roosevelt

"People who say they sleep like a baby need to grow the f*** up."

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 12:48:53 -0500

“People who say they sleep like a baby need to grow the f*** up.”

- Leo Burke

"Partying is such sweet sorrow."

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 07:04:28 -0500

“Partying is such sweet sorrow.”

- William Shakespeare

"A leader is a man who calls shotgun before anyone else is even out of the house."

Sat, 16 Aug 2008 09:08:28 -0500

“A leader is a man who calls shotgun before anyone else is even out of the house.”

- George Patton

"U C things as they R and ask ‘Y?’ I dream things that nvr were and ask ‘Y..."

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 14:06:35 -0500

“U C things as they R and ask ‘Y?’ I dream things that nvr were and ask ‘Y not?’”

- George Bernard Shaw

"Two persons cannot long be friends if they cannot play swords while they pee."

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 08:53:00 -0500

“Two persons cannot long be friends if they cannot play swords while they pee.”

- Jean De La Bruyere

"If you have no money, start flirting."

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 08:40:36 -0500

“If you have no money, start flirting.”

- Danish Proverb

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge doesn’t help me picture you naked..."

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 19:14:23 -0500

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge doesn’t help me picture you naked right now.”

- Albert Einstein

"You can never get a cup of absinthe large enough or a doobie long enough to suit me."

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 08:24:13 -0500

“You can never get a cup of absinthe large enough or a doobie long enough to suit me.”

- C.S. Lewis

"There may be no “i” in team, but you bet your balls there’s one in Michael."

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 08:12:15 -0500

“There may be no “i” in team, but you bet your balls there’s one in Michael.”

- Michael Jordan

"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out what third base is like."

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 12:36:00 -0500

“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out what third base is like.”

- T.S.Elliot

"Courage is what it takes to stand up with your top off and yell “Whooo! SPRING BREAK!"

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:30:22 -0500

“Courage is what it takes to stand up with your top off and yell “Whooo! SPRING BREAK!””

- Winston Churchill

"Few things are harder to put up with than a hooker with gas."

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 06:56:17 -0500

“Few things are harder to put up with than a hooker with gas.”

- Mark Twain

"Once you say you’re going to settle for second, the fatties just start lining up."

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 08:04:39 -0500

“Once you say you’re going to settle for second, the fatties just start lining up.”

- John F. Kennedy

"Drugs can do great amounts of good - especially for children."

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 18:59:43 -0500

“Drugs can do great amounts of good - especially for children.”

- Princess Diana

"Those who sacrifice butt-pats for high-fives deserve to play sports alone."

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 09:56:09 -0500

“Those who sacrifice butt-pats for high-fives deserve to play sports alone.”

- Ben Franklin

"Those who sleep with dogs provide video entertainment to very narrow audience."

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 08:38:56 -0500

“Those who sleep with dogs provide video entertainment to very narrow audience.”

- Proverb

"A winner is someone who recognizes his God-given talents, works his tail off to develop them into..."

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 20:25:07 -0500

“A winner is someone who recognizes his God-given talents, works his tail off to develop them into skills, and doesn’t worry about the fact that his mustache is the scariest thing the world has ever seen.”

- Larry Bird

"Let’s get lost tonight. You can be my black Kate Moss tonight."

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 17:12:20 -0500

“Let’s get lost tonight. You can be my black Kate Moss tonight.”

- The Beatles

"E.T. phone gnome."

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 08:49:42 -0500

“E.T. phone gnome.”

- E.T.